Posted by: 15specialneeds | February 23, 2011

Handle with Care…

Dear Ones,

It has been forever and I have been trying to get myself out of the horrible place I have been in mentally over the last few months. Mainly caused by the fact that Luke is in a school that cannot meet his needs, and the work that I have been trying to do to get him into a better environment. It shouldn’t be so darn hard, but it is. To top it off, when he goes to school for three days a week, he then gets sick and is off for a week, which is a cycle we have been going through for the last 2 months.

So, it would be easy to say that he has in terms of development, he has not made too much progress over the last few months, but he is at least showing more interest in his surroundings. For example we took the car through the car wash recently and he was looking at the spray and soap, and touching the window as the huge cleaning mops went by. In the past he has been too engrossed in a toy that he was playing with to notice. He likes playing in the car and climbing about. He made me jump out of my skin when he honked the car horn recently. He is doing more intricate things with his fingers and has been flicking  his fingers which is all good body awareness. He has started opening the kitchen drawers and climbing onto the kitchen stools when he sees a bowl that may contain an interesting snack. He will let Rebecca sit and cuddle him while they watch Yo Gabba Gabba for half an hour. He bites me when he is frustrated. Cuddles me when he wants a cuddle. Is still napping and eating well.

Just recently I finished a novel by Jodi Picoult, called ‘Handle with Care’. I have never read any of her work and it was given to me as a Christmas present. I really loved it as it really struck a chord with me. The story is about a woman who has a child with Osteogenisis Imperfecta, or brittle bone disease, and it is told by each of the characters point of view. The story centers about a ‘wrongful birth’ law suit, and raises questions about what you would do if you had known from pregnancy about an ‘imperfect’ baby you were carrying, and how it would impact your and your family’s life.  Obviously that child in the story is very different from Luke, but the struggles the mother has in regard to balancing therapies, keeping her child safe, being a good wife and mother to her teenager all resonated. One of my favorite parts of the book is the discussion on what makes a good mother. The discussion went something like this…A doting mother is one who follows her children, and a loving mother is one whose children follow her. It was very thought provoking.

It made me think about how we handle things in our lives and the balance between being positive and hopeful, and then realistic. Where is that line? I am a huge fan of the line that you can choose to be happy or choose to be sad. It is easy to fall into the latter when you know that what you do is not perfect, or close to it. I guess knowing that it may never be so, but that it can be good, interesting and challenging, is the stuff of life. It is easy to feel very alone in the process, so perhaps I need to handle myself with care.



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